Don’t Feed The Monster


Today on a Forum for therapists I see yet another posting about “A client has this problem – what technique shall I use?” To me this is like a plumber, about to go out to mend a leak saying to himself “I will just take one of my tools with me, from what they have told me, which one should I take?”

Firstly a client will describe roughly how the problem manifests itself – they are not the expert as to what causes it, because that answer lays in their unconscious, not their conscious. Although they have the answer it is not available to them – that is the purpose of the symptom, to raise their awareness. The therapist is told by the client only what they want NOT to have!

Which brings me to another metaphor: Whilst driving, one of the red warning lights appears on the dashboard – a signal that something serious is wrong. You call out the cheapest mechanic available and tell him that you wish the red light to go out. Whilst you are looking the other way he removes the red bulb. He tells you he has fixed the problem you asked him to resolve, charges you a call out fee and goes. Happy that it has not taken long or cost too much, you drive off. Five miles down the road the engine seizes causing £2,000 worth of damage – because it was the “out of oil” warning light that he removed. We then form a belief that ALL mechanics are like that!

The client comes to a professional therapist because they don’t know the answer. What they do have is all the clues to the answer. It is the job of the therapist to extract from all possible clues the cause of the problem – and deal with that. As soon as that is dealt with the symptoms no longer have any purpose. The red light can go out, because there is nothing to warn you about.

When clients are asked what they want – they always state what they don’t want. And this is why they have the problem – because they concentrate on the problem they don’t want. They give it the energy of thought, they give themselves the surge of negative chemicals that the brain produces because it doesn’t know that what is imagined isn’t real. It isn’t real, it is just a thought, usually of the worst that can happen! Constantly thinking about what you don’t want simply feeds the monster. Trying to deny it exists – feeds the monster, getting angry that it exists – feeds the monster, seeing it get bigger from the food – feeds the monster. Not letting go of it until you find out what it is – feeds the monster.


You cannot run away from the monster because it only exists in your head. The monster is in fact not really a monster – it is a messenger. It has an important message to give you, it thinks it is trying to keep you safe by warning you, and yet you want to extinguish it like turning off a red light on your dashboard!

We don’t need to feed messengers, or curse them for bad messages, we just politely thank them for delivering their message and let them go on their way.

Seek out a professional, who has an open and inquisitive mind, who wants to find the cause and help you to heal it. Someone who doesn’t select just one tool in advance, particularly if it is always a light bulb extractor!

Love Always, Steven

Steven is a therapist specialising in removing physical and emotional pain. There is no difference in the brain between physical or emotional feelings because they both use the same neural pathways, both behave the same, both cause the same problems, both alert you to the cause – if you let them. If you call him to ask about his help – DON’T ASK WHAT TOOL HE WILL USE………

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