The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life

do-not-feed-the-fears2

It’s Not 42 – it is Significance.
(The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life)

As a Therapist and Intuitive I am constantly absorbing lessons about life. I observe many issues that people have and notice the similarities to other clients and to my own life.

Although the brain is complex and no-one really understands how it can possibly do what it does, it does operate in predictable and observable ways.

Recently I read the word “significance” and realised this applied to everything. People are hurt by things that they give significance to. This “significance” is the difference between people who get ill and those who don’t from the same situation.

When I help clients release themselves from decades of anxiety, all I am really doing is taking them back to the first trauma and letting them observe the event but without the feelings. Sometimes it’s what anyone would consider a horrific happening, but often it can be seen by the client as somewhat trivial as they see it through their adult eyes. Many laugh out loud and say something along the lines of “So is that all it was that has messed my life up all these years.”

As soon as the significance goes so does the associated problem.

I have a client with depression, some visits she arrives depressed and although she talks like nothing matters she attaches significance to everything I say or do. The problem is she distorts it 180 degrees from the truth. Whilst in that mode virtually everything she says or thinks is untrue. When she comes in on a good day she is logical and reverses everything she said on the depressed visit, whilst also feeling guilty for all that she said or did. She is in fact giving significance to the insignificance of her actions as though they were a problem to me. They were not, but me saying that only adds to her concern as it adds significance (so I don’t anymore).

The main issue is not so much with our conscious thinking; it lies with the automated programs that our unconscious runs. Whilst it does a very good job of running most of our life it can only run the programs that are installed and so it often makes decisions based on what programs you installed whilst a child. Some of these programs were also installed whilst in a state of shock, not a great time in your life to give it a lot of thought or design!

When we attach significance to things we change what is happening to match our filtered thinking of what happened. This is the same way that scientists have to allow for measurements to be influenced by having an observer. It even happens when atoms are observed!

A recent chat with a fellow NLP associate was about an issue she had. We had discussed it a few months ago and the issue went away. It returned, so she rang me after having a week struggling with it, and it appeared to dominate her life with her asking herself the “why” question. It occurred to me that the significance was not the issue itself but the quest to learn from it to help others. It had popped its head up and she started to give it significance, this fed it energy and it started to grow to the point of taking over her thoughts.

Significance is simply a measure of your personal opinion, it is not a truth, but may seem that way. It will change as your “mood” changes, so never take life changing decisions whilst your judgement is impaired. The very act of giving something significance or withholding significance can make such a difference to your life. Letting go is the answer to so many problems, stop feeding it energy and it dies, neither fight it, nor give in to it, just allow it to arrive and to go again without judgement.

 

Love always, Steven Blake

stevenblakemba Comments